Becoming a mom has shown me a whole new level to God’s love for me. I’ve only known this tiny human for 2 months and yet I am overwhelmed by how much I love him. I’d do anything to make sure he knows he’s safe and loved and to protect and provide for him. Just one look at him makes my heart sing. He gives me pure joy and happiness just by existing. He doesn’t even have to do anything to make me cry tears of joy and love for him. He’s never done anything for me. In fact he’s totally dependent on me for everything. My body feeds him and sustains him. He can’t change his own diapers and recently he doesn’t even want to sleep by himself. And yet I can’t help but to look at him and adore every single thing about him. His little nose, big blue eyes, and sweet lips make my heart melt. I even love the way he yawns! I am just so overwhelmed by how much love I have for my son.
And then when I realize that my love for Noah is just the tiniest glimpse into God’s perfect, selfless, and holy love for me I fall apart. I’m a sinner. I fall short every day (make that every minute) of God’s perfection. I have nothing to offer Him. He’s God! What could He want with a broken, flawed human like me?! And yet He looks at me and says that I give Him pure joy just by existing. I don’t have to do anything and He loves me. He absolutely adores everything about me and I’ve done nothing to merit such love just like Noah hasn’t done anything to make me love him. I just do because he is my son. God just loves me because I am His daughter. Nothing could ever make Him stop loving me. He has always loved me and always will. His love for me is purely selfless and without fault.
All I can think to say in response to this is “Thank you.” Thank you, God, for showing me what love is. Thank you that when my human love for my son falls short (as is human nature) Your love is enough to fill in the gaps. Thank you that we are fully known and fully loved by You, God. Now and for the rest of eternity.
