You might be like me and think that being pregnant will make any body insecurity you have go away because you’re “supposed to” be gaining weight or whatever. Let me tell you, it doesn’t. If anything it enhances it.
Before I got pregnant, nobody was keeping tabs on how much my belly was expanding. It’s like the day you announce you’re expecting, people begin taking note of the size of your midsection. If it’s bigger or smaller than they think it should be at your current stage in pregnancy, they will tell you. And usually not so subtly. I don’t know why people think that since you’re pregnant they can just openly comment on the size and shape of your body but it’s like once they see the bump, all social norms and filters go out the window.
Maybe I just had this romanticized view of being pregnant but I think I really believed that I wouldn’t be self-conscious as a pregnant woman because pregnant people are cute and you’re supposed to get a big belly. Unfortunately, I think I became more self-conscious than I was before. I’m sure part of it was that I know other people who are due around the same time so people compare who looks bigger or smaller (and point it out to you ever so kindly). Another factor for me is that I had been told more than once that I was gaining weight faster than I should be. That caused me to become super aware of what I was eating and trying my best to eat a balanced diet (which unfortunately includes a lot less carbs than I’d like) and have some kind of physical activity to curb that weight gain. I feel like that really caused my size to be something constantly at the front of my mind so when the lady at Walmart says “You’re having twins” even after I tell her I’m not or the lady at the clothing store’s eyes get huge when I tell her my due date and says “Wow! You’re hanging in there..” I couldn’t help but feel bad about myself. Sometimes I thought maybe I should just wear a shirt that says “I’m not due til September. Yes, I know I’m huge.” to save myself the awkward conversations. Don’t even get me started about people who brag about not having any stretch marks when I’ve spent way too much time lathering myself in Shea butter and essential oils just to be striped like a zebra.
During this exciting (and emotional) time of creating a human being, I’ve realized a few things...
First, you can’t really stop yourself from getting stretch marks. You either get them or you don’t and there’s really nothing you can do about it. Encouraging right?
Second, your body is performing an amazing, incredible miracle by creating another human being (with no conscious effort on your part!) and that’s not an easy feat. It’s hard work and if the worst thing that happens is you have some stretch marks or gain a couple extra pounds along the way, I say you’re a winner. Just look at those stretch marks as a reminder of what your body has accomplished.
Third, I honestly don’t think people intend to be rude or offensive when they’re commenting on the size of your belly. Pregnancy is just a fascinating thing and people feel the need to talk about it when they notice you’re pregnant. They don’t know if you feel self-conscious or have already been told three times today how big you are. They just want to be part of something incredible. Let them share their thoughts and hold onto the sweet, kind things people say (cuz those do happen!) and forgot the potentially offensive or intrusive ones.
At the end of the day, you are bringing life into this world and that is something to be proud of. Something my husband told me during one of my many meltdowns was that our baby is not going to care how much weight I gained while I was pregnant or if I have stretch marks or not, he’s just going to know that he is loved and taken care of and that’s all that matters.
